Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Fardzmel
Fardzmel will rule the game world.
Fardzmel is a disgusting and selfconsciously unselfconcious old wizard who lives alone and far off as a kind of hermit.
It was a village until everyone left out of discomfort for Fardzmel's embarrassing behavior.
He is clumsy.
You form accident combos and chains, like Tetris Attack.
You've heard that story is conflict.
Other games all start with a conflict called the inciting incident.
But in Fardzmel, you are the conflict.
All others conform to an oppressive party of deviant wizards, Fardzmel's former friends.
Fardzmel is the ultimate nonconformist in every way good and horrible.
Nothing embarrasses him, and he knows it.
He's not stupid, he's fearless - invincible.
His moves themselves are simply odd magic spells, a perfect opportunity for creativity.
He is friendly, but treated like an enemy because of the evil spell.
He both saves and fights those he shamelessly loves.
He starts conflict, but he's not the bad guy.
For once, the hero initiates the story.
He can turn into Fardzmelda the Browny, a girl that sells cookies at people.
That's his most powerful form.
It's like super saiyajin level six.
You can get to know everyone in a centralized site, like a small town.
Tangents in setting are optional.
He gets all the girls, of course.
All are jealous and baffled.
For some reason, Fardzmel always hangs out with kids.
Here's to grasp his character (words of Fardzmel in red):
He stabs her in the eye. She implodes.
They knock him out and leave him nude by water.
He accidentally slips in. All that comes up are bubbles.
He freezes the water, and consults a Sawer named Sawburns.
Sawburns and his pet choptopus, Cuttles, cut Gary out of the ice.
A cryogentleman, Burnzai, passing by thaws and revives him.
They party and make Gary their king, but immediately revolt and violently overthrow him.
They look in a book, The Sexuonomicon.
Hours later, they recline and enjoy a post coital meal prepared by handmaidens. Women are everywhere with freshly born babies.
Gary crawls in, limbless and charred, with deep lacerations and black flesh.
He womanizes all the time. They hate-love him.