Tweezing the Future
There's something to be said about living in a world where everything must be as simple as possible. From dishwashing machines to microwaves and ready-made food (editor's note - we are aware that not all simplified aspects of our lives come from the kitchen), we love things to be easy.
The Auto Tweezer
Enter: The automatic tweezer. When I came across this last night in Bed Bath & Beyond, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. No, that's not true, I immediately knew that I should laugh. And hysterically, at that. In order to get a better idea of what exactly the Auto Tweezer (as those in the know call it) does, allow me to quote from the product's official website:
As I thought more about it, however, I realized that this is quite possibly the most pathetic invention ever to grace our lovely little planet. How lazy, self-indulgent, and worthless do you have to be to need a device that plucks your eyebrows automatically.
Think about that for a minute. With this device you are being saved the horribly disagreeable act of pulling the tweezers .25 centimeters away from your face after already having squeezed its tiny little pincers together. Well thank you Tweezerman, you just improved the productivity of my life more than I could have ever dreamed possible. In fact, your product has changed my life so much, that I can't imagine living without it? How did the poor saps of the past live without their auto tweezing parties, or their auto tweezing talk shows? Lord knows I couldn't have.
Actually, the sarcasm above was a little misleading. I can honestly say that the Auto Tweezer has changed my life in a very significant way. When (in the future at an undisclosed time) I do have children, nothing will be given to them on the silver platter. That's right, they're going to have to pluck their hair the way their ancestors did: with their fingernails.