Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Woman's Self-Defense
I just thought of an awesome but legal way for me to earn money.
I will start my own woman's self-defense class for hot babes only.
Versus ugly babes, the threat of ridiculously hot babes getting tolchocked, knived, and raped in this modern age of tv, space travel, superspies and robots is obscenely high.
If you are babelicious, you need a practical, realistic and nondelusional way to protect yourself.
Tragically, all self defense programs are a scam, and don't work at all.
Lie-teaching in the field of women's self-defense accounts for all unacceptably high current rape and ultraviolence statistics.
To prove this, I need but wander o'er to ye olde womyn's self defense shoppe, and challenge and kill all instructors to prove I am the only choice and they are worthless, a waste of time, obsolete in this high speed age of higher dimensional polymachy.
It's the best job.
I will generously host tournaments, and charge entrance and admission.
All I need now is to design discreetly sexy uniforms.
Bruce Lee's famous words were, "Be like water."
Water-based pugilistic training requires proper swimwear.
Celts fought nude, and defeated the Romans.
Rape victims are stripped.
Knowing how to fight nude is the difference between survival and death.
Training to fight dressed up all pretty does not develope the nude fighting skills.
That is the most fundamental law of martial arts.
We will start with grappling: gou quan, pins, takedowns, chin na, tui shou, katame-waza, and joint and pain locks.
Sign up now for one-on-one, or join a group class any time.
By participating, you acknowledge as legally binding that we are not liable for injuries of any nature, mental, sexual or other, or any breach of law or right.
If you are raped or killed after taking this course, send in for your free chance to win a refund of up to 50%.
Plus, my mom will think having my own business is an excellent choice that proves I can handle responsibility and independence.
The manifold benefits of having my own personal army of super powered naked warrior princesses deserve notice.
The first benefit is the ability and opportunity to have my own metanation with supranational jurisdiction.
This new pocket super society will judge and preside over international issues.
Court cases will replace war.
Until substituted with indestructible robots, we are the only feasible means of providing earthlings with nonimaginary security.
We will alleviate anarchy (any opposition to our order) with the appropriate psychiatric treatment unanimously prescribed by legally sanctioned and highly educated medical authorities: euthanasia.
Other benefits:
Teaching experience,
Sexual prudence,
Effectiveness training,
Social comprehension,
Higher dimensional relational discernment,
Interpersonal skills development,
And enhanced complex interpersonal apprehension.
Only to start remains.
Yawn.
Is earning money always boring, no matter what?